Cali Andrews

Have you ever been forbidden to love another?
Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?
Lied to, cheated, decieved?
I cannot say fully what is inside my heart and mind. Though I don't think you would understand the pain that is whelped up inside me. My life story is confusing for the people who have not felt the same pain as I. Even I am confused. I don't know where to turn nor who to turn to.
My name is Cali Andrews, And this is My story.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A letter to The McCallisters

Dear McCallister Family,....
I can not begin to say how truely sorry I am for everything that I have caused in your family. I wish that I could go back and change the past, what I have done, Things could have been a whole lot better if it were not for me. I sometimes feel afraid to even speak to any of you. I am so careful as to what I say so I don't cause even more damage. I do not expect you to forgive me, nor do I deserve a second chance. I only pray that I do not cause your family any more pain.
Sincerely,
Cali Andrews.

Dear Emily.


My dearest Emily,....
I feel as though you are having a difficult time in life, and I feel as though
our friendship is fading ever so slowly.
I don't know how I'll be able to express my thoughts.
Emily if I ever lost you, My life, along with half of my personality,
That you have managed to bring out in me, my so called life would go down hill.
Emily, My love for you grows stronger every day.
Emily, If you ever decide to completely break off our friendship I would one hundred percent understand.

Without you by my side.


There are somethings.....
That time can not mend. Through the dark path that seems to go nowhere, and lead to heights that are impossible to climb, nor possible to achieve. My thoughts for you are never ending as the untameable sea. My heart aches to see pain in your face. For I know what it means to feel left alone, And have noone to go to to tell what and how you feel even though they would never understand. I know the feeling of being lost or just completely abused by the one you love the most. The unstoppable tears that would put the sea to shame flow from my eyes each and every night that I spend alone thinking if they only knew.
I can't stop this fear that I have of just thinking about loving you, and all of a sudden losing you. You say that I need to stand up for myself and keep on fighting for what I want. I can't stand the thought of losing you. I hate seeing you in pain like this. It's still hard to deal with losing you everywhere I go, But I'm trying to do what I can for your sake. I blame myself for everything that has happened.
The chances of us staying together are slim to none, Very limited. I can't stop loving you even after the long talks and warnings that I seem to have everyday with alot of people. Everytime I see you I see someone who deserves a second chance. My heart can not and will not go on beating without you by my side.

Dear Dad.

Dear Dad,
Through out my entire life you've never been there for me, you never told me that you could count on me. I wish more than anything in the world to see you smile at me and tell me how much you appreciate me, But I guess you don't see everything I do for you. If I could ask for something I would ask for you and mom to be happy for at least a month, with out any argueing. I'm soo sick and tired of this criticle stuff, Wanting to move, In my opinion, you really need to start thinking about your family and not the fact that you think it's whats"best" for us. Dad the only thing I can think of when you say you want to move is that you're sick and tired of what you're having to go through at work and just so you know you're not the only one going through trials, the entire family has to deal with these things as well. And right on top of that we have to deal with the blame that you seem to pour down on us. When I see you raining down on mom with anger it rips me and the rest of the family apart. What will it take for you to understand the pain that you're causing this family?

To break a heart.

To Break a heart.....
is a very simple act,
But the process of mending it back
together is probably the hardest,
and longest process a person could
go through after breaking their
loved ones heart.
My heart aches when I'm without you. I feel as though it stopsbeating when were so far away. But when we're beside each other it's as though my thoughts and heart freeze all together. My life is incomplete without you. I constantly think about you it is as though my mind is unfree. My dreams don't seem to have an end. And no matter what happens to us I will never leave you. I will always be with you.