A Letter to Lila

Dear Lila,

I know that you probably never be able to read this, although youll probably never be able to read any of the letters I write to you, I just want you to know that I miss you so dearly. I miss the memories we used to share together. I just wish you were here with me laughing and sharing inside jokes together like old times.

I feel as though we have become quite distant you never call or write or anything. I cant help but wonder....why? Emily told me that you have been talking to her behind my back and writing to her about me and telling her how much you dont like me. Why, What have I done to you Im so confused. How could you just throw our friend ship away like that? What did I ever do to make you well basically....hate me? Lila if I could go back to the past and change what ever it was that I did wrong I would do it in a heart beat.

Lila everything that you and Emily have been talking about is well, just Crud! Lila when I heard about what you and Emily were talking about, Yes I was very confused, angry, upset and I felt very betrayed, but still deep down inside my heart I felt as though I couldnt let you go. My love for you still grows stronger and stronger every day
I love you Lila,
with all my heart
Love, Cali

Thinking of Lila

As I sat on my bed I couldnt help but think of Lila, I wonder what she is doing, I wonder if she is thinking of me. Hmm I dont know. As I sat there I thought to my self "I wish she knew my secrets, the secrets that are the tears within my heart. The tears that fell like rain from my eyes and the love that poured out for you the night we said good-bye. Im sorry I didnt tell you how much you meant to me but I didnt want to think about the thought of you leaving you are my best friend and now I will never have the chance to go back and say what needed to have been said. You have opened my eyes to what I needed to see not to what had wanted to see.

I am so afraid of loosing you. Just the thought of loosing you is like never being able to breath. To loose you would break my heart into a thousand pieces, My life wouldnt have a meaning to it.

I will be your Dream Maker

There was a time in life where I couldnt imagine spending my life with just one person. Now I cant imagine life without you.

Anywhere where shadows grow I will be there to be your light. When doubt comes your way I will be your hope, through the trials of your life that you live I will be by your side till the end of the dark that you cant seem to find.

Though your life may be at stake, and though you think your dreams ar forever gone, I will be you dream maker. I will stand by your side when danger is near. To hold your hand when you feel your falling, to fill the empty holes in your heart. Though you may think these things, I will be with you always. Your forever in my heart.

If there was ever a fear that I have to overcome, you have taught me to face that fear and look at it as if you were right beside me, holding my hand, telling me everything is going to be okay. Not my fear nor my fait will stop me from loving you.

Saying Good-Bye.

Well bare with me, I havent written for a very long time. Well so far a lot has been happening since Lila left, and it was very difficult to get over the fact that shes gone. I hate it that I cant talk with her as much as I did. People tell me quite often to just let her go, but its very hard to let go of a person that has filled so many holes in my heart. It really hit me hard when Lila left, but I've gotten better since then.

My intensions of writing my story is not for the sake of writing, but because I guess there are things that are even unwritten people dont understand of what was and what is.

How can you pick up the peices from the past? The pieces that you threw away without the thought of going back. All of the things from your past that were expected became the unexpected to the future which is now the "past". Now that it is "present" you look back and see that the unexpected future(which is the past) was probably the most beautiful thing that anyone could ever imagine. That is one of the most precious things in life that most people are blind of when it comes to thier "past", Seeing their past that was given to them.